Death...the only solution.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Time waits for no one, sure as the tide pulls the ocean
Sure as, the path that's been chosen, cannot be changed
In my life's destination,
I searched for the explaination
For some kind of reason, for my sorrow and pain
But in my isolation I learned to listen
To be thankful for the love that I'd been given

[Chorus]
This is my journey, journey through life
With every twist and turn
I've laughed and criedAs the road unwinds
This is my journey, and I've learned to fight
To make me strong enough, to lift me up, to bring my dreams alive

In my desperation I swore that never again
Would I hear all the laughter of my friends and my family
A million tears that I'd cried then began to dry
In the silence of the night time
I had came to realizeA sweet inspiration filled my horizon
Gave me the heart to go on and never would give in

I'm going to love each moment, of every day and night
I'll look back to the past with the sweetest smile
For now I realise, I've been given the key to life
I've been kissed by the angel by my side

attempted suicide at 8:04 pm

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought
I would die
Because that lullaby was mine

I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I heard her face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in may
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name

I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesnt make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

Oh my soul is dying, its crying
Im trying to understand
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

attempted suicide at 7:49 pm

Monday, July 17, 2006

SATURDAY WAS..........

Saturday was alright, nothing much, except that I drove my dear mom to work, and help her out at her work place.... not bad actually, then at night we have our weekly night religious class at my aunt place in yishun.

Sunday Maddness.....hahahah Not.......

Sunday Morning, .....actually afternoon, I woke up late, as SUNDAY is a lazy day for me......My dear was quite pissed off when I didn’t call him in the morning, at least he won’t blow his top for no reasons...he understands me well...And Sunday, We spent our time together well, watching his brother soccer match at yishun, the team lost, so what the heck,?.....doesn’t concern me and my darling, I was driving when I met him, take him for a drive....just having fun, wasting the gas...hahahaha.....but it was fun also..Then I reach home around 10.30.... While watching Channel News Asia that night, I saw the NEWS HEADLINE: said auditions for Cheerleaders to support the Singapore Slingers Basketball Team.... hhhmmmm...then I call my dear, and asked him, “are u guys really looking for Cheerleaders”.”Yes we are” he said...wow.....ok...hehehe I did as him whether can I try out for the auditions...and you know what he said...?......he laughed and then he said “sure you can, BUT only for me...” hhhmmm he’s so cheeky,.....hehehehe,......hope he don’t have flirty eyes....and hope that he behave well...not to be naughty all time seeing sexy cheerleaders...hahahah....yeah..He won’t
Cause I know he is a good boy...

Then today...............

Since Last Friday, my receptionist on leave, I got to do her work in admin department.......WHAT???? Me A SECRETARIAL DEPARTMENT GIRL..... Working in ADMIN DEPARTMENT and doing both work my self........ It ok actually, so I wont feel bored doing my job alone.... yeah, but the most irritating thing is the phone, the freaking phone, always makes noise, make me mad sometimes.....I just don’t like the phone....if the phone have some nice tunes, like a kind of melody, its ok I still like it but this phone was like a loud...”KRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG”........oh my goodness, it gonna blow my ears off......I hope those things will leave me alone someday....at least I got another colleague of mine to help me out., but she’s lazy pig....bad laazy pig.......idiots....Ohh I got to stay cool...stay rreally coolll......hhmmm.....I just upload my MP3 songs, well Next Month I gonna buy Brand new MP3 players....the good brands of course, Creative or maybe Ipod....hhhhmmm see which one is better......so many thing I want to have.....And Next Year, I’m going to buy my own car.....a suzuki......or maybe honda.......hehehhe......

attempted suicide at 10:12 am

Friday, July 14, 2006

attempted suicide at 5:28 pm

FRIDAY DA DAY

Hari Jumaat
Last day of the week
well I really got nothing to do
My manager on leave........YAHHHHOoooooooooooooo
Well me free
Free doing anything I want, but I have some work
Hhhhmmmm
My darling Did call.....he’s doing fine
But tired
Cause yesterday he got scrimmage of his basketball game
Well he really sounds tired.......

Well..... I Like This Song From Agnes Monica......I include the Lyrics too....ENJOY

TANPA KEKASIHKU

Langit begitu gelap, hujan tak juga reda
Ku harus menyaksikan cintaku terenggut tak terselamatkan
Ingin ku ulang hari, ingin ku perbaiki
Kau salah,kau kubutuhkan
Beraninya kau pergi dan tak kembali

Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantikan tempatmu denganku
Adakah tanda surga itu
Biar kutemukan untuk bersamamu

Ku biarkan senangku menari di udara
Biar semua tahu kematian tak mengakhiri cinta..

Apalah artinya hidup tanpa kekasihku
Percuma aku disini sendiri

Kekasihku, bersamamu
Kekasihku, bersamamu
Kekasihku, bersamamu

attempted suicide at 4:37 pm

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Yesterday

I Meet My Darling......Hhhhhhmmmmm.....He Said He’s Gonna Be Late, But He Got There Early..Hehehe Waiting For Me At The Train Station With His Black Shirt And His White Pants....I Like Guys In Black And White, They Look Hot.....It Wasn’t Hard To Find Him Anywhere......Cause He’s Way Tall Then Everybody, So Its Easy To Spot Him Anywhere...Hehehe.....He Gave Me A Big Smile And Hug And Kisses....Wooahhh....I Really Like His Sexy Lips...Hehehe They Are So Sexy.....Just Like Him....Yesterday He Said He Would Like To Get Some Swimming Trunks For His Training.....Woaahh Now I Know That During He’s Training Got Some Swimming Session....Hhhmmmm........All Those Sexy Body......WooooohhhhhooooooHehehe Whats Wrong With Me...Hehehe.....I’m Obsessed With Sexy Body , Especially Guys With Big Muscles......My Dear Got One......Hehe I Loike........Hehhehe....I Just Called Him On The Phone, He Was Still In The Train When I Called, And Dia Cerita Tadi Time Dia Swimming, Baju Dia Ada Org Kebas....Baju Yang I Teman Dia Belikan The Other Day At Queenstown .....Manusia Mana Amik Baju Org Nie...Kesian My Darling, Nasib Baik Dia Ada Extra Baju, I Told Him To Look After His Belonging Properly Cause Sini Banyak Org Suke Kebas Kebas Barang Org, Haaiizzzz Keciannye My Dear...Hope He’s Ok Now....Well Back To Yesterday,....He Wanted To Get This Swimming Trunks, So We Got To Suntec, Cause I Don’t Know Any Other Place To Find Those Stuff, Hmmmmm....After Long Walk.....Nearly Reaching The Carrefour, Then We Go Into The Rsh Store...Got His Ttrunks....And A Couple Of Track Pants, Cause The Whole Store On Sale.....So Its Cheap Cheap...Hehehe.....Got Two Shirt, Two Pants, Swimming Trunk, And A Short....And That Cause Up To At Least $100 Dollars....This Is The First Time I Every Saw My Boyfriend Spend That Much Of Money Before In My Whole Life.......And Whooahhhh......Hehehe.....He Did Say One Thing.....He Said “ We Cant Survive In Singapore Like This Honey.......’We’ Move Going To Europe When We Make Money.” And I Was Like....”Whhhaaatttt”?........Why Europe? Not America Or Something..?”...Then He Smiled.....Well...I Did Told Him, I Don’t Mind Going Anywhere....But As Long As U Get A Citizenship Here First.....Then There’s A Pause In Between.....He Said...Ok......I Stay Here....And Wait For That Citizenship...Heheheh......That’s My Dear, And I Love Him So Much....really Love Him Cause He NEVER MAKE ME CRY...HE NEVER DID MAKE ME CRY.....That’s What Special About him.....HE KNOW HOW TO TREAT HIS WOMAN RIGHT.......

attempted suicide at 3:01 pm

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Sekarang kan musim Hujan..........meh kita nyanyi Kasi Hujan Lagik

Blame it on the weatherman....B-witched

It's just one more day
No one said
There would be rain again
Won't blame it on myself
I'll blame it on the weatherman
Get away for a while
Here I am out on my own again
Won't blame it on myself
I'll blame it on the weatherman

Standing on the shore
Calling out your name
I was here before
I could see your face
Only clouds will see
Tears are in my eyes
Empty like my heart
Why did you say goodbye

The rain goes on

on and on again

Alone I can hear
Hear our song
Playing for me again
Won't blame it on myself
Just blame it on the weatherman

Standing on the shore
Calling out your name
I was here before
I could see your face
Only clouds will see
Tears are in my eyes
Empty like my heart
Why did you say goodbye

The rain goes on

on and on again

Maybe it's too late
Maybe it's too late to try again
Maybe I can't pray
Maybe I can't wait
Maybe I can't blame the weatherman

Tak pasal pasal weatherman kene salahkan...khekek seh
Hahahaha........

Pas tu Leh rilek Pat office ....rilek sampai abis lunch...
Hahahaha....
Aku dah takder keje lah nie....the office is freezing cold...
Sejok giler nyer...bleh jadi ice...hahaha....

Later jumpa my darling, at my work place....
Tadi I called him, dia ngah on the way gi training
Selamat lah dia agaknya..
Hahaha
Ok lah chaoo....

Meh dengar lagu lagikk.........

I Found A wAy –Drake Bell

I never thought that it'd be so simple but
I found a way, I found a way
I always thought that it'd be too crazy but
I found a way, I found a way

If you open up your mind
See what's inside
It's gonna take some time, to realize
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder you know that, I told you
I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down
So just turn around

Now that I know that anything's possible I found a way, I found a way No one can break what is so unbreakable I found a way, I found a way
If you open up your mind
See what's inside
It's gonna take some time, to realize
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder you know that I told you
I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down
So just turn around

No one cares
What you give
You know you gotta live like you wanna live
When it's time
To be free
You know you gotta be what you wanna be

-----------------------------------------------

Life Is Beautiful-Raven

get so tired
of the world passing by us
makes me want to jump out of my skin
what are we doing in this race we call human
if we're too afraid of jumping it
shake it shake it shake it up
no need to save your sacred stuff
take it take it take it slow
but take it anywhere you want to go

why do you make it so complicated
life is beautiful, baby
shut up and appreciate it
life is beautiful, baby

take a chance make some noise
cause the world is your oyster
don't you want to come out of your shell
we can dance on some chairs with some cute millionaires
or on the tables of your local taco bell
shake it shake it shake it up
no need to save your sacred stuff
take it take it take it slow
but take it anywhere you want to go

it's a modern epidemic
how some people never get it
how you only get one shotthe world keeps turning and your either on or off it

attempted suicide at 2:06 pm

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Namanya Marsya Nashmia..
My latest cousin...hahah baru kluar last April
Makin hari makin chubby...
So cute
Just like the mother....
Now she’s about 3 months...
But she looks like she already 5 months...
But she’s really really cute
Some day I will have children as cute as her
Here are some of her pics...
ENJOY...

CUTE KAN?
hehehe
There's More

attempted suicide at 3:33 pm

Sejarah Ape?
Tak ada lah.......saje aje letak.
Ngah takde keje nie
Boring sungguh kat office
Banyak Newspaper kene scan.
Not good eh....
Ada audit
Then nak kene prepare AGMs...
Tu pon untok company yang I tak tahu
Apa lah nasib, nasib baik this client is not a trouble maker
Why am I writing one line after one line?
Cause I got nothing better to do...
Ngah dengar mp3 haprak nie....
My ex nyer mp3.....dulu dulu nyer kisah....
Skg I know...he just got a big bike....
Which I think I pernah naik....
Warna orange....wow..same like my room
Orange too...but too bad....he’s no longer ard....
Hahha....I’m not sad abt it...
He asked for it...
Then TODAY after work
I got to take the care to
My Aunt Place at Yishun
To take something...with my sister of course
Thought of meeting my old school friend
But HE didn’t sms me....
My Darling too Haven’t got back from training
MISs Him so Much
Smlm nak bual....tapi dia suroh i tido siang......cause he’s tired
I paham sebab bukan senang nak jadi professional players...
And now mungkin besok baru jumpa dia.
Hope he will be able to show me his huge muscles
Ye lah.....hari hari angkat berat nak tengok jugak macam mane bentok dia
Well here’s a pic of his previous one......
Muscle dia pon power...ok jugaklah

Tapi I’m waiting for his most update result of his appearance...
well....
must be something interesting....hahaha....
I really love him
He the only one that understand me deeply...
NOT LIKE SOME OTHER....
WHO DIDNT CARE ABT ME AT ALL....
Well I said that line so many times...
But Who care About it now...
I don’t wanna know anymore
About those bastards out there..

Well forget abt it........
By the way........There’s Something for mY dear Darling.....
Dia tak paham......Nanti I Translate for him......
wakhahahah

Sayang..

Apa yang ku katakan

Apa yang ku rasakan

Belum pernah dialami

Demimu segala ku kurniakan

Susah ku senangkan

Apa sahaja dipenuhi

Di hati

Dan masih lagi engkau bertanya

Sejauh manakah cinta

Penjelasan ku sebenar-benarnya;

Sampai, tubuh tak bernyawa

Sampai, ku ke pangkuannya

Biar jasad tak dilihat zahir

Cintaku kan tetapkan hadir

Andai dikurnia syurga kan ku tunggu

di luarnya jika ditanya mengapa?

Jawapan ku menunggu..

Kau SAMPAI dahulu..

Mudahnya sekadar bermadah

Hingga kau meragui

Keikhlasan sanubari

Sedangkan racun pun kan ku telan

Andai kau menyatakan ia madu kepadaku

Oh sungguh..

Dan masih lagi kau bertanya

Sedalam manakah cinta?

Lafaz ikrarku buat selamanya...

Katakan sayang..

bagaimanakah harus ku hidup..

tanpa dirimu

Sedangkan separuhnya di jiwaku

bersamamu...

attempted suicide at 2:56 pm

Monday, July 10, 2006

I got nothing to do, but I finish up my unfinished work since last week, my darling already called me just now, before and after his training, but now he’s resting, cause its really tough training with the professional but he got to go through it..And I’m always with him here.... forever, together...having fun all.... hhhmmm...I miss him so much, didn’t get a chance to meet him last weekend cause I asked him not to...yeah...people just need time for themselves, like me, me too needed time for myself only and so is he.... well, we’re missing each other badly now.and now I’m waiting for his call tonite...or maybe later in the evening.... i miss his voice really much. I’m still not ok from my asthma yesterday, and still having this wheezing sound from my lungs......and I think its because of YESTERDAY....at my aunt’s condominium, at the gym.....I run a lot at the track mail... and maybe because of that I’m having asthma attacks.....further more its raining quite heavily....knowing that it rains...I don’t care....my and my cousin went in the swimming pool and the hot tub, and I think that added to the asthma ....oh well.....I don’t care....I just wanna have fun, it was really cold in the pool, and really warm in the hot tub, so we won’t freeze in the coldness. It was a great weekend for me and my family hehe.....later we had meee mamak at my aunt’s place......it was really really fun weekend for the whole family.

attempted suicide at 4:40 pm

Friday, July 07, 2006

Hari nie dah hari jumaat, so boring....makin hari berlalu makin boring plak hidup....nasib baik ada darling aku nie.....kalau dia takde.....haizz....lagik boring lah hidop......hehehehe.....petang nie dia blom call lagik...masig training kot....hari hari dia ada training....tak leh salahkan dia....SEA GAMES nak dekat.....he asked me to watch him play, and I say Insyallah.... kalau I free on that day......I tak pernah pergi dia nyer match...mungkin nanti I pergi lah....see how...me pon malas kadang kadang......besok one whole day kat luar, I be driving around doing some errands for the family...thats why i asked kevin not to meet me besok...cos i want to do my things.....i would probably meet him up next week On Wednesday.......I got lotz of filing to do, luckily I finished 95% of them and then i can relax and relax till 6 pm......woah....tired though.......i got to wake up early besok.....so kene tido cepat sikit....besok dah nak kene drive for my mom......to send her to the hospital for blood taking....hhhhmmmmm......wish I’m fresh when I wake up tomorrow........Happy weekend For All the People out there.......

attempted suicide at 3:02 pm

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Hari Ini aku rilek, aku baru saja bual ngan matair aku....hhhmmmm suara dia agak penat...maklum lah baru balik training with the Australian team.....first impression of him is ok......dorang suka dia......so my dear full time playing for them....moga moga my dear success selalu.....tadik I suroh dia rehat....sebab tat day dia jatoh and hurt his shoulder.....and knees......I dah tengok dia nyer bahu....luka besar.....not bloody but its quite gross to look at it....Its painful for him too, I already asked him to keep that thing dry and let it heal by it self...hmmm...kat office pulak me takde banyak keje...so me take this opportunity to buat ape ape keje yang tak abis.....then I got a msg from my ex.....dulu dulu nyer...iskh...ape dia nak eh agaknya?....dia tanye khabar kat me....ok lah tuuSetakat tanya khabar.....I wonder how he look like this days.....still like before....I heard he’s already put on lots of weight....and also heard that he’s married....ntah ehh....hehehe....tapi....buat bodoh je lah...I dah ada my darling yang I lebih sayang.....Yesterday my adik balik umah and found handphone....a 8250.....I pon takde hp....cos some guy took it back......anyway itu pon dah rosak.....tak guna nye phone, thanks anyway....bramppsss.........the phone still in good condition....anyway.....my darling gonna buy me better handphone....with line too....my previous line already been terminated and my dear say.....its ok.....we’re gonna get a new phone....isn’t he a darling.........to me....I love him not because of what he can give me.....I love him because HE KNOW HOW TO TREAT ME WELL.....NOT Like Some Other...who didn’t even care ABT their Girlfriend After She Gave Everything to Him, even her dignity............Damn......oh well....forget about this kind of people...I’m happy with my life now.

attempted suicide at 4:23 pm

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I’m about to go knock off from work....while waiting for the time to pass....and waiting for my dear to call......I’m still doing some work........I got Some AGMs to do for clients....well that’s what secretarial firms are for.....its the annual General meeting seasons for most companies which had their year end at the end of December....yeah...and I have to do the paperwork for them...which is actually not so tough......later tonite my dear and me gonna survey some handphone store and compare prices...and he also wanna find out about corporate phone line .....I don’t know what its all about....but Tony, my dear’s friend....would like my dear to find out for him and we’re doing it this night....after that I Have ran out of idea on where to go.......he suggest that we go out for dinner but I say.........hey.......u forget about or deal? Hehehe and he was like........aawww come on, just once in awhile...then I said......ok ok.....we’ll go for dinner....we’ll be around in Bedok so I think that’s where we’re gonna have our dinner......I am really looking for to this meeting before he’ll be way too busy training.....hey at least I knew what his doing when I’m not around.......he’s either be playing basketball or training for his game......so I don’t have to worry about him fooling around with other girls.....I trust him so much and he trust me too....love him very much.....finally I feel like I’ve been appreciated and treasured by him......he made me his queen, his princess, and his lady.....and he’s my king, my prince Charming......and my man lastly......

attempted suicide at 5:07 pm

Ape nak buat, kat office ada kerja nak kene buat......nak kene bukak file etc
Iisskkhhh boring so boring.....nak kene tuu nak kene nie.......surat khabar dah banyak lom download....abih aku 24 jam busy........malam nie jumpa my darling......lamanya nak tunggu sampai malam nie...isskkhh.......insyallah tahun depan bila aku dah 21 tahun.....aku akan beli kereta...ntah plak kereta ape, not sure as long as I can afford....my dear like the idea of me getting the car.....he can drive it too.....cool huh.......he already have his licence while in his country......too bad....he left it back home......if not he can drive the car on his own......what I like abt him is that....he always have the confidence in me...always give me positive encouragement not like SOME OTHER who always CRITICIZE people....and never give encouragement at all......well....Luckily He’s Not That type of people........he always trust me....and I trust him too......he’s not hot tempered...he’s cool.....never blow his top on anything.....Yeah not like SOME PEOPLE who like to make so much noisy being angry for no reason.....he will listen carefully to every of my words and then discuss it together.......LUCKILY he’s not the one who is selfish, and who doesn’t want to listen to others but only himself....bagus jugak lah.....dia bukan yang jenis EGO tinggi Sangat dan yang slalu tak sedar yang dia yang sebenarnya salah I mean one who doesn’t admit his own mistake and always find ways to blame me back...yeah...I really wish these people would succeed in their love life if they don’t continue this damn habit....but tell me.....A LEOPARD WILL NEVER CHANGE HIS SPOTS....I mean....SPOTS ARE SPOTS...and...STRIPES ARE STRIPES.......u CAN’T CHANGE either of them.....they are meant to be like that....that’s why u need to be CAREFUL WHEN CHOOSING LIFE PARTNERS..and..I SHOULDN’T HAVE ACTUALLY STARTED THAT RELATIONSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE and looked what have he done to me, after his gone with someone else.....I am really lucky ...and now I’m lucky to met Kevin who understand me deeply.....I suka org yang boleh memahami diri I....like Kevin, walaupon dia bangsa asing....I rasa lebih mulia dia dari sesetengah org yang I pernah kenal...lebih Baik dari Orang Yang pernah bastard me........thank god I found You Kevin.......

attempted suicide at 3:08 pm

My Dear Came Home Early Last Nite.....He Told Me A Story.......It Was Common To Elbow People During A Game Just Because They In The Way......

My Dear Was Playing For His Team....He Was The Only Best Players Ard And Without Him, His Team Would Lose....But The Opposition Was Always Afraid Of My Dear... And They Want Him Out Of The Game.....And This Is What Happen...........

My Dear Was With The Ball...And Then This One American.....Got In His Way......He Used His Elbow To Push Stop That Man From Coming Nearer.....And He Succeed.....But This Guys Macam Tak Puas Hati....Then Dia Tolak My Dear.....He Gave My Dear A Big Push, Being Big, Luckily My Dear Didn’t Fall......And That Guy Got A Foul By The Referee For That......My Dear Don’t Wanna Lose His Pride.....He Pushed That Guy Back And Make Him Fell On His Own Ass.......Then That Damn Guy Try To Punch My Dear In The Face....But It Was Too Late...My Dear Fist Was Long enough To Stop Him from Doing That....And My Poor Dear Gave Him A Big Punch back........Serve Him Right For Being Such An Idiot....Because Of This Stupid Idiot....My Dear Was Sent Out Of The Game.....What A Day.....So Bad Luck.......Idiots......I Think They Purposely Want To Make My Dear Be Sent Off The Game.....And Yeah.....

So What If The Other Team Won....But Not For Long If They Keep Playing This Dirty Game.....As For My Dear
He Said He Don’t Mind These Thing At All Cause He’s Not Gonna Continue With The Team, He’s Team Of Professionals Is Here, He Playing With Them Soon........Love My Dearr.......

attempted suicide at 12:29 pm

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

hhhhhmmmm............dah nak dekat kul 6.........aku dah nak kene alik...........tapi dia tak call call jugak.........hai........busy mungkin.....oh yeah....preparing for tonite......i like the way he say faster faster, mcm cute gitu....dah lah dia cute......hehehe......besok i go meet him......kita go beli hp baru untok dia...new line....we hope to get cheap one.....but i dont know which area banyak kedai hp......i dont want to go to town area........expensive.....maybe we go to shop houses.......kat Tampines ke? bedok ke? or AMK ke? Mungkin we go Tampines.....cos me dah lama tak go there......sejak pindah ke hougang, me jarang go tampines.....dulu ada lah....lepas kene bastard terus now a few weeks me dah tak gi sana.....hahaha...mungkin we go there besok.......mane tau harga handphone sana lebih murah......and boleh jalan jalan sekali......hey tak hey go tak go......takkan kerana satu perkara i axed going to Tampines kan? i grew up there......hhhhmmmm...........mungkin besok i can borrow my dad's car and drive there.........ntah lah see what Kevin has to say later tonite.......

attempted suicide at 5:55 pm

Have you guys heard about a group of Australian Basketballers having a team based in Singapore......Yeah they Are called the Singapore Slingers....i heard it in the news sometimes back.....well....My dear is playing for the team......woohhhoooooo.......yesterday he finally called me at night.....and gave me his new handphone number which his brother subscribed for him...but its no good....there's no free incoming calls.....but we're gonna change it tomorrow.......My dear told me a very good news........His Team Have finally reached singapore....and the coach called him....and yeah.. he will be training with them soon.......and surely he will receive his contract soon....wow wonderful.....

Today he have a game....and right now...im waiting for his call......or maybe he will call me tonite
in the mean while i'll Keep Waiting

attempted suicide at 5:23 pm

Monday, July 03, 2006

mANA Lah Si Mamat Aku Nie....dari tadi Handphone off aje, miss hiim so much u know....slalu bila i call....he willl always be the one who said...hello babby....without even taking note who's on the line right there....hehehe he's a clever boy......heheheh......my big baby.....you know.....we shared a dream......to have our own family and to have our own cars.....hhhhmmmm great isnt it?.......and tour ard the world.........hehehe......he said.......honey....when i'm starting to make millions........im going to make u happy......oh yeah....the day will come soon........Honey call me soon ehh......well.....i've already thought of a name to be given to him........Hhmmm Starting with the Letter H......its either Hairul or Haziq.....I'm Still not sure.......but Both sound good to me......maybe i can call him Hairul Haziq......Thats a wonderful name........hhhhmmmm

attempted suicide at 4:35 pm

THE DAYS SO FAR..............

The Past few days have been good to me.....I am once again happy........as I met him.........
At first I wasn’t sure of my feelings towards him.......and after a while.....I begin to like him........he’s the one that always say “hey baby” to me........I find him sweet, but serious, long winded but full of wisdom....hhhhmmmmm I don’t know whether if he fits that description.....but I can see that I’m happy again......we shared our dreams together and we will continue to help each other succeed in life......I think Love is in the Air Again......He always makes me happy.....although I find it hard to understand his accent....but I’m beginning to learn, I taught him some of my language too....but as long I understand him
And he understands me.....it be alright.....sure.....we find it hard to communicate but its getting better and better........And My Mom, Knows that I’M going out with him, but she didn’t say a word.....although he is from different religion and race and even different country, I don’t care....as long as he loves me more than I love him...I be Happy.........And I think I found my Man......and will go through thick and thin together.............Forever......and yesterday he called me after his game....he sounded so tired....and he told me....he fell....during his game....and wounded his knee...and shoulder.........but he assure me that...its common to be falling all the time during his rough games.....and he will be alright, he didn’t want me to worry too much for him.........and next week or so....he’ll be very busy....training for the SEA Games.....pity him...but its his job....playing for the National Basketball Team.....And I am Proud of Him......I still remember his words.....he said......”hOnEY, One Day....I’ll Make you proud Of Me”........which I am now........Proud Of him.....standing together with him..............

Sunday 2 July 2006............

Well, my family and I woke up early coz it Sunday ........and we should be out............hehehe........well first thing, we go to one place.....I mean someone place.....to collect something from some irresponsible people......hhhhmmmm why I called her that, because we paid her money plain piece of clothes to get her to make us some Malay dress.......after months past still no news of the Malay Baju Kurong......she is so irresponsible........isskkh!!!!! I don’t like this kind of people...........enough of her....after collecting it......then we go to PA..........Not Police academy ahhh.....But Heheh Pusara Abadi.......yeappp.....the Malay cemetery .............visit both my grandparents grave.....and lastly my own elder sisters’ grave.......pay her respect.......clean up her tomb....and say some prayers...........only after then we go to my aunt place, because my cousin, my aunt’s son, had promised us that he will treat us durians.....hhhhmmmmmm yummy...........so yummy..........I ate a little....cos I’m already full....since morning.....hahaha.........really......but the durians sure looked delicious........hhhhhmmmmm ..........like it....love it.......heheheheh...........we did enjoy the day......and have fun the way we want it tooo.............oohh yeaaahhhh............

Saturday..1st July 2006

A day where I took my dear darling for a ride...in search for his shoe......wow......we went to Queenstown Shopping Centre, the main aim is to search for A Nike Lebraun basketball shoes which my dear like very much and u know.....with him that tall....sure its kind of hard to find his shoes...he really got big feet....a size fourteen...which normally only have 13 here in Singapore...ohh dearr....so pity..But we still have to find it ......I started to call him darling cause he’s gonna be my darling.......he’s a very very tall guy......around 1.98 cm tall........wow......he’s so handsome.....well what can I say abt basketball players....they are always tall.............and good looking......but he always complaint that he’s too thin....and need to put on some weight.....as he wish.....but I like the way he is now....and now we have a mission....and the mission is for me to lose some weight and for him to put on some weight......and we’re gonna make it happen.......sometime its better to have who care about the future together ..and not like those who already had some one but never do anything to make the other party happy at all....but I’m sure....Kevin is not that type of guy.......he care about me more...and I care abt him too........

attempted suicide at 11:52 am