Monday, April 17, 2006
KERNA Ku terlalu percaya Pengorbanan ku pastikan Terbalas akhirnyaKERNA Ku terlalu setia Tak mungkin berpaling hati Walaupun terlukaNAMUN Semua itu Tak lagi bererti Takkan pernah lagi Jadi nyataKERNAMU Kerna kamu ku jadi begini Tak pernah melihat diri ini Walau seringku di sisiKERNA Asmara yang ku puja Hanya tinggal bayang-bayang Di dalam hidupkuKERNA Asmara yang ku damba Hanya sebuah bisikan Pilu di jiwakuNAMUN
Semua itu
Tak lagi bererti
Takkan pernah lagi
Jadi nyata
attempted suicide at 11:48 am
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Its in the evening now....and its raining heavily here in shenton way......i really wanna go out and meet him....but he dont want to meet.....its ok.....up to him......but whatever it is......i will still be out....whether it rains or shine and whether he's around or not....i just wanna go out.....really bad....maybe have a stroll in the mall.....or may be just siting around by the bay......thinking abt life....no rain can stop me.....im so lonely......so lonely......i wish he could understand......but he never did.....I asked my self......One Day, If I disappear without a trace, would they still care? would he still care?......then thinking it.....i guess not....it will never be....my existance is not important...i knew it....but i still dont know what am i doing here?......what am i thinking of...? i never really know my self....i wish i know the answer........
attempted suicide at 4:54 pm
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I Feel So LOnely and Sad................A Simple Message to Someone(u Know Who U are)BagaimanaHarus kita meneruskanPercintaan yang terlukaMasa duluAndainya kau sendirianDan kau masih lagi mencarikuDi sini aku menanti muKenangi saat indah kau dan akuWaktu itu hidup kita romantisnyaKita pun berlari-lari mengejar ombakDi pantai kasihAkhirnya aku kau tinggalkanSejarah cintaku yang lalu..Hanyalah ujian bagimuSeandainya kau perlukan akuKu masih ada di siniSeandainya aku tiada lagiSimpanlah cintakuDi dadamu oh... sayangCuba kau ingat kembaliMasa laluKasihku teguh buatmuWalaupun terluka namun ku bersabarDan masih menyayangiAndainya kau ada yang lainWaktu iniApalah dayaku lagiTerpaksalah aku membawa dirikuDan hanya Tuhan saja yang mengertiKala aku mengelamun sendirianBerderai airmata di pipikuKerana terlalu pilunya hatikuKau pergi dariku tanpa pesanDi sudut hatiku yang terluka iniTerpahat namamu Kaulah kekasih
attempted suicide at 12:35 pm
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
WORKOUTSemalam alik werk, aku rilek jap.....ard kul 8 mlm after my mom medication time, aku ajak dia gi gym....$2.50 per person kat Hougang Sport Halls....whole day....hehaha work out till u die....bedek gitu....tak lah.....kita msaok Cuma satu jam jer....pasal cannot tahan with the waiting time....semalm pun ramai orang....semua ngah tunggu turn ....leceh seh....but i did sweat alot, penat aku dibuatnya ......over all ok lah the place..small.....air-coned etc...then yesterday also got alots of guys working out on the muscles....oooooo.....like that body.....badan .....mak oi power.......muscle dorang berketak ketak.....hahahaha....ada budak kita jugak....heheheh building the muscle...kan best......sambil exercise .....sambil tu cuci mata......hahahahaha
Then Hari Ini pulak, masok keje siang......tapi takder benda nak buat....rilek jer...tapi kene lah step busy kan.....so dorang tak mengata aku nie lazing around....dorang berani cakap....aku pon leh kata alik....hahaha......betol per...dorang pon aper kurang.........kan? ......jgn lah over kalau ye pon.......
K lah aku chao dulu
Sebelum aku sendiri bingit ngan diri aku......Adios Amigos......aku bEramBos........ heheheheh
attempted suicide at 10:11 am
Monday, April 03, 2006
I Dont Know Now
When We Trust Someone So Much, They Tend To Take Advantage On Us, And When We Love Some One Too Much, They Tend To Take Us For Granted...Sometimes I Did Ask Myself....Was It Me? Or Was It There’s No More Love In The Air...And Sometimes I Wonder....Am I Just The Only One Giving Some Love But Not Receiving It At The Same Time...People Says It Takes Two Hands To Clap...Everybody Know Its...But When...U Clapper Louder Than The Other ..It Hurts....Here We Are Trying Our Best To Please The Other Party, But That Significant Others Doesn’t Play Their Part In Making Things Work..I Know...They Always Take The Easy Way Out Without Working Out The Solution To The Problem Faced...They Often Use The Term “Say What You Want”, “Suits Urself” And The Most Famously And Commonly Used Phrase “Whateva!”, For Me I Would Rather Work On A Solution, Than Left It Hanging On The Line...What’s The Point...All Getting Back To Square One..And We Never Get Anywhere Too....But I Got To Be Cruel To Be Kind To The Other..I Just Don’t Know What’s Next For Me? What’s Already Been Stored For Me In My Whole Life Journey Starting From Now....Tapi Kalau Naluri Hati Berkata...Sudah Tiba Masanya Aku Teruskan Hidop Ini Dengan Meninggalkan Kisah Yang Lama Lagik Mengakit Kan, Aku Akan Pergi....Dan Tak Akan Aku Menoleh Ke Belakang Lagik....Looking Back To The Past Will Only Stop Me From Moving On...Someday I Will Have To Move On And Leave....But When?....I’m Sure That There’ll Be One Point That Will Tells Me To Move On In Life.....I Leave My Fate To The Hands Of The Almighty...Aku Berserah Pada Takdir....Dia Yang Menentukan Segalanya....
Aku Redha
Di saat ini
Ku menyedari
Siapa kau sebenarnya
Dalam hidupku
Kau tak seperti
Yang ku harapkan
Dulu semuanya indah
Kini dah berubah
Sakitnya dalam hatiku
Mengenangkan sikapmu
Mengapa mestinya ku
Kau singkir dari hidupmu
Apakah salah silapku
Hingga kau menyeksaku
Fikirkan janji mu dulu
Sebelum kau miliki... aku
Pilunya hati
Oh Tuhan berikan padaku kekuatan
Di dalam kehidupan ini
Aku redha
END OF THE LINE
All alone I wait for you
As darkness fills this room
I don't know why you ain't called
Little things you used to do
There no longer part of you
Seems you left them all behind
Well I can't believe what I'm going through
This thing it, just ain't right
Your selfish ways, how you carry on
Somethings you just can't hide
If you want me to go
Then Say It
Want me to stay
Then show it
Don't be afraid
Oh don't break this heart of mine
Now's the time, If I'm right
then we've come to the end of the line
Seems like I can't do you right
All I do or say is wrong
All the smallest thing criticized
I deserve some damn respect
Nothing more and nothing less
Don't pretend if everything’s fine
Don't hold it back if its in your heart
Stand up and be a man
I Can't read your mind
So I just say aloud
I'm trying to understand!!!!!!
Even though you've been doing me wrong I still care
Do you think that by treating me cruel that somehow I'll disappear?
Baby I love you too much just to walk away
Don't make me hate you!!!!!!!
Baby you've got to be
Straight...........
attempted suicide at 10:43 am